When the going gets tough

Eeeeeeeuuuurrrrghh! Or whatever Billy Ocean sang. Mock it all you want, I bet he’s earworming you pretty good right now… Regardless, I believe the actual words are “when the going gets tough, the tough get going”. If truer words were ever written, I’ve yet to see them.

It is true, though, that a life lived in constant struggle makes you somewhat resilient. Whether or not the coping mechanisms one adopts to push through are healthy or not (or sustainable) might be a different story, of course. But you’ll push through, the more challenging it gets. After a few decades of blasting through new levels of impossible, it’s become part of who you are. But, as far as I can recall, I’ve never heard anyone talk about what’ll happen to ‘the tough’ when the sunshine breaks through the storm clouds and the ‘going’ goes from the usual rough waters to rather smooth sailing.

I’d say it’s safe to assume you’ll be looking at some sort of existential crisis. When you find yourself in unchartered territories, void of panic and struggle? What, then, becomes of the brokenhearted, if we should stumble upon that peace of mind we’ve been searching for?

I’m not sure Jimmy Ruffin has the answer, but that song is a fucking tune. Also, I may or may not have been checking out the High Fidelity series on Hulu. If your existence, like mine, seems to come with a slightly eclectic and ever-changing soundtrack, you might enjoy it. Zoë Kravitz is, like always, utterly brilliant as record shop owner Rob. Or, if you’re not ready to commit to a series, you can always watch the 2000 film by the same name, starring John Cusack as Rob. Good tunes all around either way.

A slight diversion there, but I’m not sure this particular post has any one particular direction anyway. All I know is, when the tough does on occasion encounter any prolonged episodes of calmer seas, they’re no longer so ‘tough’ when the shit inevitably hits the fan once again. Which might be why one tries to keep any potential sources of joy involving others at bay.

Some of us are not built for happiness. Certainly not the kind involving significant external stakeholders. We don’t know how to handle it and our fight or flight response sends us straight into sabotage mode. Who’s going to wait around for that to blow over? No one. At least no sane ones. I’m not going full “give me liberty or give me death” here, but you sometimes have to wonder why on earth life has to dangle the carrots you’ve no chance of holding onto. “That ever elusive ‘could have'”.

James Hetfield once sang: “Give me fuel, give me fire, give me that which I desire”. I always liked that lyric. It resonates. If you’re not going to keep the fire burning, you can leave me alone. I’ve got my tunes.

See you next Tuesday. Until then, feel free to hit me up and share some songs, films or series you think deserves sharing. Below, you’ll find one of mine.