There’s a bee in my bonnet

Happy Tuesday! I’m back, from inner space… and something’s been grinding my gears.

A new¹ trend appears to have manifested itself onto the meta-verse, where some random humanoid with an indiscernible semi-Scots accent in a run-of-the-mill heather-y hillside excitedly claiming the origin of everyday terms to be Gaelic. I mean, if this is what people want to do with their lives; roam the countryside donning nought but a tourist shop-bought “kilt” and a selfie stick, then, by all means… But don’t try to tell me that you think that everything that sounds the same (ish) means the same. Ever heard of false friends?

If you haven’t, I am willing to bet my finest cardigan on the assumption that you’re not a linguist or philologist. Thus, you should not be “teaching” unassuming doom scrollers about what you reckon might be the origins of the English language. Or any language, for that matter.

What I mean to say is;

Don’t believe everything the Internet tells you.

I would link to one of these videos here, but I don’t want to help spread any more misinformation (and I don’t like to point fingers) – I’m sure they’re nice to animals or something). What I can do, however, is provide some links to proof that this nonsense has been debunked. The word this time, if anyone gives a crêpe, was ‘smashing’:

1. Wiktionary. Perhaps not always the most reliable of sources, but this seems well-researched.
2. Apparently, Daniel Cassidy is to blame for this pish. On Cassidy Slang Scam, you can read the following: “There is no evidence of an Irish or Gaelic origin. Smashing does not occur first in Irish or Scottish contexts and there are no conscious references to it as an Irish or Gaelic expression. This is not what we find with hubbub, or shebeen, or banshee, or Tory, or claymore, or slogan.”
3. Read the entire debunking of New Yorker Cassidy’s poorly researched work here, from the same site as above, only better.

I doubt that the lad in the videos I watched has ever heard of Daniel Cassidy, but he claimed to have all the facts nonetheless. Another thing I fear he’s failed to consider, is that the general public have stopped looking to books and educators for knowledge – instead they scroll away on their social media, mistaking entertainment for education.

Thank goodness the end is nigh.

See, there’s more to verbal communication than just phonemes and syntax – or, speech sounds and sentence structure to you unscholarly types. In fact, did you know that the words describing the sound an owl makes in Danish is slang for penis in Norwegian?

And, don’t take my word for it (even though I do have a degree in linguistics). Look it up! And, no, don’t ask some AI shitbot, use your Internet browser for what it’s worth – really get into it. Even better, if you’ve got access to a Danish book of birdcalls or a trusted Norwegian pal that could let you in on the secrets of their magnificent language, you should check with them. Should your research on owl sounds bring you to the answer², though, I suggest you resist the urge to type that particular term into your Internet search engine, as it might end up biting you on the arse. Even if you do enjoy having your buttocks nibbled.

In summation, we’d all be better off without the “assistance” of the Internet. Read this short article on Psychology Today, about why you shouldn’t believe everything you read on the Internet, if you’re thirsty for a more in-depth look at the emotional backlash such blind belief can foster.

I’ll go watch this week’s episode of High Potential (yes, using the Internet for streaming purposes, I know) – I’m hooked and I don’t know why. Actually, that’s a lie. I’m hooked because Kaitlin Olson’s performance in this thing is through the roof – as is that of the one and only Judy Reyes. Never before have I enjoyed anything even bordering on crime/whodunnit, but this is a good one. Great, in fact.

To wrap things up, I’d like to give one of my favourite peeps (whose birth fell on this date some 40+ years ago, but who’s counting? Well, he is, because he’s a drummer) a special shout out. You’re a legend and a half, Rob! For those of you having made it through to the end, you can enjoy one of his bands in the below video:

See you next Tuesday!

1. I am old, so ‘new’ is relative – it could mean anything between now and Y2K ↩︎
2. Hint: the featured image is a clue ↩︎